So, I did it! I started blogging. First up, making sure my inner critic remained evicted.
As I worked on my project I thought about my ex inner critic. In particular, about what she would be saying while I prepared to launch my ship into Cyberspace.
“You’re going to crash and burn, girl,” she would say.
“Your Facebook friends are going to tear you apart,” she would argue.
“Why bother? You’ll never get any followers,” she would contend.
“Nobody believes in you,” she would assert.
Everybody Has an Inner Critic
Latisha was my inner critic, and she was a regular pain in the butt! She was the voice in my head that would constantly tell me that I wasn’t good, beautiful, smart, or worthy enough. Moreover, she continuously looked for ways to sabotage my efforts to get ahead in life.
How Did Latisha Get Into My Head?
I can’t really pinpoint when Latisha first moved into my head. However, I know that I was just a kid. To be more exact, I was a preschooler.
I went to sleep one night and when I awoke the next morning, there she was in all of her glory. And she wasn’t nice about it, either. Like every other bully she was mean, bossy, and never had anything positive to say.
She took up residence in my head for what seemed like forever. One day, when I was about 19 years old, I decided she had to go.
Firstly, I’d grown tired of how she threw her weight around and always made me feel like a complete failure. Secondly, the lack of confidence and low self-esteem, and self-love were getting in the way of me being able to date and sustain relationships. And thirdly, the fear of taking risks was costing me jobs and educational opportunities.
I reasoned that maybe if I knew where she came from and how she got in my head that I could get her out for good.
For weeks I observed every single thing in my environment trying to figure it out. I waited and waited, and when I was about to give up there it was, clear as day. I saw exactly how and why Latisha moved into my head.
They opened the door wide open for her. I noticed that every time my parents said something mean and hurtful, that Latisha would play loud 80s music and dance to the sound of their tune over and over again.
At last, I knew the root cause of the problem; the why behind Latisha’s existence.
My inner critic had to be evicted and quickly, so I did a bunch of research and established a plan of attack.
For the next 21 days, it was on.
I rolled up my sleeves and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. In addition, I took off my hoop earrings, put on some shorts, and went to work.
She put up a good fight, but I was determined to evict her.
Whenever she said, “You can’t do anything right,” I’d counter with “It’s okay. I just need to plan more carefully next time.”
Whenever she said, “You’ll never succeed at anything. You’re always messing up,” I’d counter with, “No one’s perfect. This experience will make it so much easier for me to succeed.”
Whenever she said, “Girl, look at him. He wouldn’t be caught dead with the likes of you,” I’d counter with, “I’m beautiful inside and out. I’m confident in who I am. If he doesn’t think I’m good enough for him, his loss.”
Whenever she said, “You’ll never make it in college. As a matter of fact, you’ll be lucky if you succeed on a factory assembly line,” I’d counter with, “I’m smart. I’m intelligent. I can do anything I set my mind to, to include evicting you, witch!”
Evicting Your Inner Critic
Finally, on day 22, I handed Latisha an eviction notice with the words, “Effective Immediately,” in big, bold red letters across the top.
As my inner critic walked away, a new occupant began to settle in. She stood right next to me with a great big smirk on her face waving goodbye at Latisha.
Did Latisha stay away, or did she come back?
Stay tuned for Part II of Evicting Your Inner Critic.